Luminescence
by Cherrie
Summary: *COMPLETE!* The story surrounding //Yours Truly, Hisoka//. Hisoka x Illumi
1. chapter 1

**Title:** Luminescence  
**Author: **Cherrie (kurapikasama@yahoo.com)**  
Chapter: **1/5**  
Rating: **PG-13**  
Disclaimers: **Hunter X Hunter © Yoshihiro Togashi, Shounen Jump Weekly, Shueisha and Nippon Animation. This fanfic is written for entertainment purposes only. **  
Summary: **A sequel for _Yours Truly, Hisoka_. A better explanation of their story, and what happened after the letter. I suggest reading the letter first to better understand this story, but one can still find it understandable by just knowing that there _was_ a letter involved ^^;**  
Notes: **Hurray, I'm back to the multi-chaptered fanfics! I'm expecting to finish this one as soon as time permits me. Also, I checked out my HxH manga lately and I could've sworn that I never noticed that part when Illumi mentioned that he hasn't known Hisoka for a long time yet. Which means that he and Hisoka _just_ met. Oh my...*sighs* This is what I get for buying Chinese manga.

* * * * * * * * * *

The halls were busier than usual. Hisoka wasn't one who'd care much about gossip, or any other unnecessary thing that happens around him for that matter. But the subject that somehow grabbed everyone's interest was definitely far too widespread that the conversations reached even the magician's indifferent ears.

"Yes, that pale one who jumped immediately from platform 1 to 95. I heard the last opponent was so badly disfigured that his body could barely pass as human after the battle."

"The technique he uses can twist muscles as he wills them to. The skill is far too advanced to be taken lightly." This next one came out a whisper, but Hisoka's ears were sensitive enough to catch them. "Do you think he uses nen?"

"I doubt that he doesn't. I've seen his battles before. There were times when his opponents don't move at all, and he'd just walk to them to cut off a body part. Some even looked like they ran to him just to get stabbed. Do you think he knows how to do mind control?" 

It wasn't everyday that the Sky Arena was like this. Supposedly, this place was filled with arrogant bastards who are stupid enough to think that they can claim victory in every battle they take up. But for them to talk about an applicant here and say things about his strengths and his skills, that truly meant that there really is a challenge ahead. 

This was _very_ interesting. 

Holding the form in his hand tightly, Hisoka stayed a while longer, just in case he might be able to catch any useful information about this 'pale one'. 

But the two gentlemen he was listening to were proving themselves more and more useless as time passed by. Completely fed up with their, "I wonder if I could take him?" and "If you have a fetish for pretty boys who bite, then be my guest", Hisoka turned his back to go on with what he was supposed to do. He was just about to go to the registrar's window to confirm his last victory when he heard it. 

"A member of the Zoldick clan? So that's why he kills so easily."

_Zoldick? Now why did that name sound familiar?_

"I heard that he's the eldest child. Very quiet, nobody ever heard him speak before. He's on his way to the top floor, I'm sure."

That was when everything finally fell into place.

The sudden chill of remembrance that ran past Hisoka came as a surprise. But a second right after that came a sudden burst of warmth, then a shaky feeling inside of him that made the hair on his arms rise. Excitement. When was the last time he's been this excited? Now, if only he could remember his name... 

_Illumi._

A slightly manic grin began to spread on the magician's lips. He had to get to the top floor as soon as possible. 

* * * * * 

Sheer ecstasy. 

That was what he felt when the look of recognition crossed that pale face. Yes, the young man remembered him all right. For months, Hisoka had watched Illumi's progress, whether through the monitors that adorned the hallways or by being a part of the audience, it didn't matter. And never did he disappoint him. In every battle, Illumi reveals a part of his skills that a novice wouldn't catch so easily. But never did the ivory-skinned man use an advanced technique twice, which made him all the more interesting. 

Watching Illumi had grown into a habit over the past few weeks. So much that even in his fights, he sees that haunting face instead of those of his opponents. He even dreamed frequently of a time when he'd grasped that slender neck in his hands, the pale one on his knees, begging for air in a silent voice, with the utter grace and delicacy that was so natural to him. 

And during some rare times, these dreams would get out of hand, and he would see himself leaning closer, close enough to feel the other tremble in his fight against unconsciousness. He'd watch himself hold down the other's struggles, a certain fire mirrored in the intoxicated state of his own eyes. And soon, he'd find his lips lightly brushing that smooth skin, tasting the saltiness of sweat and blood, a yet tasting also a certain sweetness that made him drunk by just thinking about it. 

Since then, his thoughts had been filled with him. And he always kept his eyes on him. Watching him. 

"You."

A small sneer. "Me," he said. "Fancy meeting you again."

Illumi's face held no emotion. He merely fixed his intense gaze upon the magician, which all the more thrilled him.

"So," Hisoka started, flipping a single card in his fingers. "Shall we begin or would you prefer a few more lines of camaraderie?"

Illumi's face darkened, and with a single turn of his hand, three silver pins stood in the spaces between his long fingers. That was clearly a 'no'. Not that Hisoka expected otherwise anyway.

Illumi attacked first and took a step back, as if he expected Hisoka to dodge his first attack. And with a single swipe of the hand that held the card, the magician avoided the pins - as expected - and skillfully manipulated the movement to will Illumi's weapons to return to the attacker in a fatal pose. The card joined the three pins in a quarter of a second, all four flying towards the eldest Zoldick. 

But it was Illumi's turn this time. One with his weapons, a white hand flew to quickly snatch them out of the air, gracefully dipping down for a moment to let the lethal card run past him. The card, now dodged by its target, soared straight for the barrier that separated the audience from the ring. Upon contact, the strength and speed of the card allowed it to pierce halfway through the wall, creating a large crack, to the amazement of the spectators. 

But the two who were battling it out in the ring were oblivious of these minor things. In the process of avoiding the card, Illumi also slid forward to attempt a kick on the magician. Hisoka evaded this by jumping back, landing on a single hand, then on his feet. He landed fluidly and without sound, quickly crouching down on the ground to help his momentum as he leapt forward for his own attempt on hitting the assassin as well. 

A series of attacks were executed back and forth, without one scoring a single point. One attacks and the other evades, who then counterattacks, which, would also be evaded by the other. This went on for quite some time, and Hisoka found himself more and more frustrated with how things were going. Well, part of him was frustrated, while another was just plain amused just as well. Illumi was even better than when they last met. 

In an instant, Hisoka had a hand around Illumi's wrist, which was poised just a millimeter away from his hair and could grab at him if he willed, while Illumi had his own grasp around the magician's other hand, which somehow balled a fistful of the material of Illumi's clothing just around the assassin's hip.

They quickly pulled back, realizing the danger of their proximity, but not before Hisoka could take note of the sudden warmth that crept around his limbs and cheeks at the lingering touch of the Zoldick's skin. There were a few safe feet between them, and both their labored breaths graced the ring, together with their unwavering gazes fixed on each other.

"This is fun, isn't it?" asked Hisoka, breaking the rising tension. The referee was a few paces away from them, eyes still intent in watching their every move. He had strained his eyes to catch a movement that may earn one man at least one point, but had found none. But Hisoka could care less about the poor man's job. The point was that he was enjoying himself despite the new revelation that there was one who could last this long against him. 

A small ghost of a mischievous smile graced Illumi's lips, and a faint light sparkled from his dark eyes. "Must I really answer that?" he asked, spite, sarcasm and amusement trickling in small concentrations to still retain his cold reputation.

"Not really," answered Hisoka, who was now stretching his strained hands. He moved his wrists around to ease the stress, knowing that Illumi's not going to move unless they resume their battle. "The answer's quite obvious anyway," he said, and gave the other a knowing grin.

A small smirk adorned the assassin's pale face. "As articulate as I remember you to be." 

By this time, their audience - quite a large one for some reason, perhaps because it was the battle of two of the most feared ones that prowled the Sky Arena, Hisoka thought - had noticed the pause in the battle, and we're making their protests known quite impatiently. But neither of the two could hardly care.

Thinking back on their fight, a thought crossed Hisoka's mind, and he decided to play around with Illumi for a while. Wearing his most innocent facade, he spoke. "Say...isn't that a wolf-rat?" he asked, pointing a finger somewhere in the audience behind Illumi's back. 

A slender brow rose, Illumi's dark eyes bearing an expression that reflected the magician's own. "You mean like that behind you?" he asked, pointing somewhere behind the magician. 

Carelessly not expecting that reply - because nobody in his history has ever done so - Hisoka instinctively turned around before his rationality kicked in. He cursed himself and willed his body to move. But before he could jump away from the expected attack, something hard and rough landed on his temple, hard enough to throw him slightly off back.

"One point, Illumi!"

How could he have been so stupid? He was surprised. Actually, more than surprised. There was yet a word to be discovered that could describe what he felt when he finally heard the voice of the referee, whom they just made to look as if he was mute for not making him speak for the last half hour. 

His eyes widened slightly, and shifted from the triumphant smile of the referee to the dignified smirk that Illumi held in his face. He was supposed to be insulted, infuriated even, for being the first one to be scored a point from. But there was no mockery in Illumi's expression, no sign of victory. Only that of an invitation, a call for him to do him the same harm. 

And Hisoka never refused a challenge.

* * * * *

Illumi won the first battle by one point. It was the very first recorded loss that Hisoka ever received in his whole lifetime. But it didn't bother him as much as he expected it to be. To him, it was the best battle that he has ever been in. 

But Illumi didn't share the same sentiments. The night after they went back from the stadium, the two met in the halls just a few distances away from the registrar's window. Illumi asked Hisoka for a rematch, for clearly, that one point that he had received to win the battle was a useless point. He explained that the pattern of their receiving points alternated perfectly. Right after Illumi threw that fist-sized piece of concrete on Hisoka's head, Hisoka successfully landed a blow on Illumi, causing himself one point. During the course of the battle when Illumi finally landed a two-point blow, Hisoka countered it with his own two-point attack. 

Plainly speaking, if Hisoka had not started the whole trickery in the beginning, thus, earning him a point, and if the pattern would've been followed throughout the battle, Illumi's last point would merely create a tie. And since they alternated in points, there was a great possibility that Hisoka could've won. 

What is it with men and their pride? Hisoka saw the clear dissatisfaction etched on the assassin's face, despite the fact that he wasn't supposed to feel that way - something that Illumi had said himself. Illumi, like Hisoka, doesn't have a recorded loss, but he said that winning the way he did somehow counted in a hollow victory that left far too many unanswered questions regarding the differences in their skills. He said that he was in the Sky Arena to train himself and to learn, and if he let Hisoka go free without satisfying his curiosity of the many possibilities that could have happened, he would be letting an important lesson go without him learning anything. 

"Ever the hardworking one, aren't you?" Hisoka had asked playfully. 

"Oh, shut up," came Illumi's uncharacteristic reply. 

But nevertheless, he had complied, and they scheduled another battle a month from then. This time, true to Illumi's word, Hisoka emerged the victor. But he hadn't really considered it as his victory, for whether by coincidence, fate, or by the sheer equality of their strengths, he had also won by a single point. And he found this extremely amusing. Both he and his opponent were sprawled on the ground. He had glanced towards Illumi, whose exhausted gasps of air seem to cut right through the cheer of the crowd. And when their eyes met, Hisoka's lips tugged into a grin, which resulted into violent spasms of laughter soon after. Beside him, Illumi finally betrayed his reputation in the arena and let out his own amusement, albeit hesitantly. 

Despite Illumi's talk of similarities between the two fights and the possibility of Hisoka winning the first one just the same, the magician knew that his view of his disposition and the assassin's own is not going to change. 

He had found his match. 

Right after the battle, Illumi met with Hisoka again in a nameless place around the building of the Sky Arena. It seemed to be coincidence well enough that he found Illumi there. The assassin didn't seem to mind him distracting his peace, for though his face didn't betray the emptiness of his emotions, he extended a hand to him, which the magician took without hesitation. The warmth of the handshake brought him comfort, and a strange understanding as to what it had meant. 

A truce.

"To never fight each other again," said the assassin, his voice merely a tone above a whisper. 

Hisoka allowed this offer to linger in his mind. Did he really want to give up the thrill that he feels whenever he was faced with this man? To give up the chance of knowing what it's like to be in death's grasp, and to actually savor such cold yet exciting feeling? 

He stared back into those blank eyes and saw himself in their depths. And what he saw almost surprised him. He wore an expression that he had never seen in himself before. Peace. Fulfillment. Satisfaction. He knew that they were going to be short-lived, but the fact that they _were_ there proved them well enough. 

There was a small smile in him, the first in many years. It may not have been obvious even, but he knew it was there. And that was when it hit him. For the first time since he could remember, the man who stood in front of him was not an enemy. 

They let each other's hand go a moment later, but none of them made any move to leave. Illumi resumed his silence, his arms crossed contemplatively on his chest, his back to the other. Hisoka looked around him to see what his newfound ally found so interesting enough to keep him out of the safety of his luxurious room.

But it was Illumi who broke the silence. "Have you heard of the Hunter Exam?" he asked, his back still on Hisoka. 

Hisoka shrugged. "Of course," he said dismissively. "And I failed the exam this year."

Illumi turned around, his expression and posture unchanged except for a slight rise in his eyebrow. His expression ranged between disbelief - very mildly - and curiosity. 

Knowing the question in Illumi's gaze, Hisoka grinned. "I lost my temper, almost killed a judge and got myself kicked out," he explained.

Illumi nodded, a small smile of amusement on his face. "Figures," he said, earning himself a mocking glare from his companion. He then shook his head and turned serious again. "But that exam changes their judges every year. You can join again if you want to."

It was Hisoka's turn to raise an eyebrow. "What's your point in telling me this?" he asked. 

"I believe the point is obvious, Hisoka." That was the first time Illumi ever uttered his name, and Hisoka of all people wouldn't dare let that go unnoticed. But if he found it amusing, he didn't show it, and just listened quietly. "There's still a year ahead of us, but as early as now, I want to ask you if you'd like to take the exam with me."

For a moment, Hisoka just stared at Illumi, blinking back a mild surprise. "Aren't you being a little bit too trusting here?" he asked the other to make sure that he wasn't just being delirious. 

But Illumi just shook his head. "I need that license card as soon as possible, it will make things a whole lot easier for me to go around. You know what my occupation is, and frankly, to wrestle with the attendants of a travel agency just to go around the world to plant a measly pin on some old geezer's nape isn't very amusing."

That was the longest statement that Hisoka has heard from Illumi yet. But instead of nodding in understanding, he merely laughed. "You _wrestle_ with flight attendants?"

Noting the mocking sound of the magician's laughter, Illumi just rolled his eyes and dismissed him. "Look, the point is that I need a trump card that will help me make sure that I get that license," he explained. 

Hisoka's laughter died down, and this time, he returned Illumi's expression with the seriousness of his own. "And if I betray you?" 

Illumi shrugged. "I've fought with you twice. That's enough for me to know how you execute your moves. If ever I die taking the exam with you, it will be blamed on my own careless stupidity, not my taste on companions." He then cast Hisoka a glare. "And what about you? I'm an assassin. What if this is all just a part of some assassination plan to kill you? Surely you've got enemies."

"So...we don't trust each other then." It wasn't even a question. 

"Not unless you actually want to," said Illumi. "Trust is a dangerous thing. For all we know, the truce we made earlier could've been just a bluff from both sides. I might be poised in killing you for beating me on the second battle, and you might be fixed on killing me for goodness knows what reason."

"Now you're being paranoid."

"I'm an assassin, thank you very much." 

An amused laugh escaped Hisoka. He didn't know why, but he knew he could trust Illumi. But the assassin was right. Trust, when given to somebody, can be likened to a scene where one hands somebody the key to end one's life. 

But he wasn't really worried. For him, it was Illumi who should be thinking twice. He himself didn't know whether his intentions were good or not. There's always that lust factor, given the fact that one cannot control his dreams. Much as he tried, he couldn't get rid of them, even after their battles. 

"I have a reason for you not to trust me though," he said. Whether he meant it playfully or sincerely, he himself did not know. But at least, someday, he could say that he had given his warning. "From the very start, I have always been watching you." 

If Illumi had been surprised, he didn't show it. Instead, there came that rare sparkle again, and in turn, his pale lips tugged into a small smirk. 

"No, Hisoka," he said, and fixed the magician with a gaze so strong that it almost suffocated him. "_I_ was watching _you_." 


	2. chapter 2

**Title:** Luminescence  
**Author: **Cherrie (kurapikasama@yahoo.com)**  
Chapter: **2/5**  
Rating: **PG-13**  
Disclaimers: **Hunter X Hunter © Yoshihiro Togashi, Shounen Jump Weekly, Shueisha and Nippon Animation. This fanfic is written for entertainment purposes only. **  
Summary: **A sequel for _Yours Truly, Hisoka_. A better explanation of their story, and what happened after the letter.**  
Notes: **Thank you to those who reviewed! I don't know why I'm so devoted to HxH, considering that I don't get as much reviews for my works here compared to my other ones. I just love Illumi-sama that much ^0^ As always, constant Illumi worship will be inevitable as far as this *points to self* demented fan girl is concerned. Please refrain from throwing random appliances at me for being guilty of the fact that I'm biased (and will _always_ be biased) with Illumi's side of the relationship. Oh, and to White Meteor, chapter 1 happened way before the Sky Arena thing with Gon. That was more or less two years ago. Just think of it this way, Hisoka showed up in all his fights, and since he wins them all anyway, he didn't have a recorded loss ^.^

* * * * * * * * * *

The room was somewhat crowded by the time he arrived, the suffocating smell of sweat and exhaustion intermingling with the feeling of rising excitement. By the way things had looked, he knew that some of the people around that very room had been there for hours. Despite the fact that a lot of people came alone, the heavy droning of the combined voices of the applicants talking amongst themselves proved that boredom and the desire to boast were highly encouraging everyone to a bit of socializing.

Hisoka's eyes instinctively scanned the area. Of course, that was what he usually does whenever he encounters a new place. But this time, apart from his killer's instinct, there was also another reason why his eyes searched the room almost frantically. 

_Come on. Black hair, striking eyes, pale skin. Everyone here looks nauseously common and uninteresting. _

He's always been waiting for this day. Unlike his purpose last time, this year, the Hunter Exam is not merely his playing ground. Not anymore would he merely go around looking for new challenges, though that was still a part of his game plan. Now, he was more into his new passion, a certain young man who just proved his mystery over the past months that he and Hisoka had known each other. 

The night they parted from the Sky Arena, Hisoka had not expected to see Illumi again until the Hunter Exam starts. But like what he usually does, the assassin brings up surprises that the magician does not expect. 

It was a cold, windy afternoon in late January when Hisoka's cellphone rang. He remembered rolling his eyes then, expecting that it was one of the members of the Geneiryodan, calling him up to see if he had anything to contribute to the group. If the caller was Machi, perhaps he wouldn't be as bothered. Machi, for one, is an interesting young lass, and every time he's with the group, Hisoka sees to it that he let his interest show. Usually just to entertain himself from the utter boredom of waiting for that stupid leader of theirs to stop being a coward enough to let his bodyguards go at least a mile away from his back.

Unfortunately for him, Machi is nauseously loyal to that said leader, and seems to harbor a certain dislike for him. Not that he lets people know that he knew that. As for the chance that the cursed leader would call him, he wouldn't count on it very much. 

Sighing, Hisoka brought his cellphone out. To his surprise, it wasn't from the Ryodan. Relief evolved immediately to curiosity. Raising an intrigued eyebrow, the magician pressed a series of buttons and read the message. 

_We're staying in the same city. I saw you yesterday. 7:00, meet me at Vitullo Hotel's main lobby. It's been a while. - I.Z._

It didn't take long for him to know who it was. As if the unmistakable skip in his heartbeat when his eyes took in those initials wasn't clue enough. Really, his infatuation with the assassin was getting out of hand, it's almost getting creepy. His heart, or any other body part for that matter, should not be so enthusiastic, he noted. But of course, that's what gives him the excitement after all. 

Illumi was the same as he remembered him to be. He seemed more beautiful though, if that was even possible. The charming lights of the sparkling chandelier above him illuminated his supposed paleness, giving his skin a certain golden glow. His dark hair still flowed freely behind him, moving even in the gentlest of winds. His position was as elegant and controlled as always, and those alluring eyes had been fixed on the magician even before the man entered the building.

"Hey," was Hisoka's simple greeting, despite the fact that all he wanted to do at that time was to grab Illumi and quench the burning fire within him, the very same one that longed for the assassin's presence and touch. Not that he had actually _touched_ the assassin in any way, apart from those done during their matches in the Sky Arena. But Illumi have had those delusional effects on him ever since the beginning anyway. 

"Hey," came Illumi's just as calm reply. The arms unfolded from his chest, almost like a welcoming gesture, tempting the magician in ways far too numerous to point out. Hisoka came to him, leaving a few safe feet's distance between the two of them lest he jump the other then and there. Illumi gestured him to follow, and led him to the elevator, pressing the button for the 27th floor. 

There was a series of corridors that were tracked before they finally came to the room. Illumi's room, despite it coming from an exclusive hotel, was just like any other room. It didn't have any personal touches. There was a bathroom just near the door, a closet on the opposite side, a bed in the center of the back wall, a coffee table, a mirror, a table with a small refrigerator, and a television. Everything was in place, almost as if nobody ever resided there at all. 

Upon arrival, Illumi pulled up a chair, giving Hisoka a look that said that the chair was for him. Hisoka complied and quietly took the seat, while Illumi rummaged through the refrigerator for something to drink. He settled for red wine, and poured some for himself and his guest. 

"So," Hisoka started, breaking the silence, while Illumi poured them their drinks. "What's up?"

The assassin handed the other his glass, and took a seat himself. "Tell me what you've been up to," he said, with the straightest face the magician has ever seen from a person speaking with him.

_This man really isn't afraid of me, is he?_ thought Hisoka as he stared back at Illumi. "Like what?" he asked this time.

"Anything, just talk," replied the assassin. 

Hisoka gave Illumi an incredulous look. "You called me just to have some idle chit-chat? Very unlikely of you, don't you think?" 

Illumi shrugged, and if one would look really closely, those pale lips tugged into a small grin. A _very_ small grin, but a grin nonetheless. "My brother just called a while ago and started telling me these silly, random things. I don't have time to listen to him explain how a blimp works for God's sake. I realized that there are better people to have conversations with than my insanely selfish brother who thinks conversation consists only of a mute listener and himself as the perpetual speaker." 

Upon hearing this, and upon deciding to ignore the fact that Illumi's sentences are getting longer - which was a good thing as far as he was concerned - Hisoka grinned. "So you're saying that you'd rather have me explain how a blimp works instead of your brother then?" he teased, earning himself a mocking look from the other.

"You never drop your sense of humor, do you?" asked the assassin, taking a sip from his drink. 

"Of course I do. You don't expect me to crack a joke while sleeping, do you?" he said cheerfully. 

A small sigh escaped the young Zoldick. "That very much answered my question, thank you."

After that night, Hisoka found himself constantly in different hotels in the company of Illumi, during the times when the assassin would have a day or so free to do as he wishes to. They talk most of the time, and at rare times, they would go out of the seclusion of Illumi's rooms to watch the life outside. Nothing exciting or anything of the like ever happened during such visits though. But to his amazement, Hisoka wasn't planning to rush into things. Besides, Illumi's very much capable of murdering him with the mere aid of something as innocent as a tree branch, he wouldn't really want to risk it. 

So instead, Hisoka just leaned back to learn little by little parts of the assassin that he hadn't known before. Of course, Illumi was not going to give himself up completely. There are things about him that he keeps to himself. He isn't that stupid, Hisoka noted. But still, it was still a good thought, knowing that he knows more about the assassin than the whole world combined. Illumi has impaled mysteries inside of him that the world doesn't mean to see. 

But it was these very same mysteries that Hisoka found wonderful, and that was why he was there, in the Hunter Exam, all but grabbing the person beside him to ask whether or not he saw a man of around 20 or so, with long, gorgeous black hair and beautiful, almost death-white skin. But eventually, he grew tired of looking around, and decided to ask the person he would encounter next anyway. 

"Excuse me," he said, his voice trying to rise above the noise around the room. He tapped a tall, muscular man who had his back to him. A few more taps, and he finally had the man's attention. 

But when the tall man turned around to face him, Hisoka deeply regretted seeking his aid. The guy was, frankly speaking - and this has _nothing_ to do with the fact that he was used to admiring the beauty of his reflection or of Illumi's, either - hideous. His skin was like that of a dead corpse, dark and almost gray. His eyes didn't seem very focused, and his hair all but a single tuft in his head, with things that looked like heads of pins - only very much bigger - sticking in every angle of his face.

But figuring that he had already done the damage, he decided to go on and ask. "I'm looking for a pale man, quite pretty, about my height, with long black hair. His also has big, almost cat-like eyes. Have you seen him?" In truth, he doubted the ugly man could even speak. Hell, he doubted he could even understand what he's saying. He just looked _that_ dumb. Why he went on speaking of his beautiful Illumi was beyond him. 

But to his surprise, and sheer horror, the man _could_ speak, and, indeed, he understood. But it wasn't only that. 

"I'm glad to know that you're at least curious of my well-being, Hisoka, but I find it rather disturbing that you think I'm - heaven forbid - _pretty_. Do be reminded that I am a man, please? Ugh, it's a good thing my father isn't here."

Hisoka gawked. The notion that the human jaw _can_ drop was then and there proven, but that was far from his concerns as of the moment. "What the _HELL--_!? Is that _you_, Illu--"

But Hisoka's outburst was cut short by a sudden pull on the material of his top shirt. In a split second, he was almost nose to nose with the hideou--er, with Illumi. "Dare to utter my name and I'll slit your throat," threatened the man. It was all to weird to call him 'Illumi'. Illumi was so beautiful! And this _guy_...doesn't even look like he passes for a sane human being. 

For the hundredth time, Hisoka stood aghast. Ever since he met the eldest Zoldick child, he can't help but be always caught by surprise. But really. Illumi passing through his wit and tricks, he can take. Illumi, who was a supposed anti-social, asking him to walk him around the city, he can also take. For cryin' out loud, he can even take Illumi asking him to bake little gingerbread men with him while wearing pretty pink aprons in a cottage in the middle of a pixy forest! 

But this...THIS! This was the single, very much the most _absurd_ thing he's ever encountered in the entire course of their being together.

Hisoka was near to tears. "Oh my beautiful one, what taste of cruelty made you look like this!?" he asked. Whether his outburst was due to his good-natured humor or sincerely because he suddenly missed the _real_ Illumi, he did not know. 

Illumi was giving him a what-the-hell-happened-to-your-brain look. The magician earned himself a light - 'light' being in Zoldick terms - smack on the head. "Snap out of it, Hisoka. If you ever utter the word 'beautiful', or anything else femininely synonymous to that for that matter, I'm going to personally escort you to the gates of Hell. And in case you've just been born yesterday, this," he gestured to himself, keeping his voice low, "is called a disguise." 

But the magician was barely listening. "But...why? Of all things!?"

"Look," Illu--er, the man, sighed, but let Hisoka go. "Apart from getting my license, there's another thing that I have to do. It requires a disguise. And if you're brain is still working, I might as well tell you that the lack of welcoming features has its benefits. So," he stopped, pausing a moment to give Hisoka a warning glare. "If you're still up for my offer, please do be informed that I'll be needing your cooperation in keeping my identity."

"Of course I'm still in, but can't you--"

But Hisoka's words were abruptly stopped when a violent push from behind sent him a step forward. Both the assassin and the magician's eyes roamed to the figure that disturbed them, said figure sporting an angry scowl and an arrogant growl intended for the magician. 

"Watch it!" he dared to roar.

Hisoka, with all his good humor dropped, drawled out, "I'm _sorry_, but _you_ were the one who was keeping your eyes behind your head. I was merely standing here." 

"Hah!" the man poked Hisoka's chest. "I'll be forgiving for now. Apparently, you don't know who you're talking to. Next time, you better watch where you're going lest you want to die even before the examinations start."

It was men like this one that makes Hisoka yearn for a kill. These pathetic examples of arrogance are a nuisance to him. This man obviously didn't know the lines he's currently crossing.

There was a deafening cry that startled the whole waiting room. The stone floors were immediately soiled by the rich, dark red hue of blood. A pair of hands lay bleeding on the ground, the fingers slightly twitching in reflex to the blood gushing out of the ruined veins, with the former owner's screams still haunting the ears of those who can hear.

"Next time, _you_ be careful with whom you're dealing with," said Hisoka, the bloody tip of his card pressed to the smirk in his lips.

The minute's silence in the room was immediately broken. Quiet murmurings were then exchanged between the applicants, and almost everyone seemed to fade away from the three figures in the room. The rude man who now lost his arms fell on his knees, still crying out in pain.

His anger momentarily dropped, and Hisoka cast a glance at the man behind the ruined bastard, who was Illumi in disguise. Those narrow eyes stared back at him with an unreadable expression. But it wasn't disgust most definitely, but neither was it amusement. 

He held a look that seems to ask questions. And Hisoka had the feeling that it had nothing to do with the other man. 

* * * * *

The first and the second part of the Hunter Exam are over. Apart from that little bump in the middle of the second test wherein the bratty female judge almost failed everyone, everything went pretty well. And so, there he was, by himself, in a not so secluded corner of the chairman's airship, building a pyramid of cards. 

Contrary to what most people believe, building a pyramid of cards isn't as difficult as it looks. One just has to be patient enough to overcome the frustration if ever the hand makes a wrong twitch. But once the whole steady-the-blasted-hand problem is overcome, the process does not anymore need the huge amount of concentration the builder gives out before when he just started the so-called "ordeal". It's almost like learning how to twirl a pen properly in one's fingers. It's excruciating only in the beginning. 

Which, brings him, again, there with the bastards who dared call themselves worthy of the Hunter license. He didn't do as much as speak to these idiots, it would be a complete waste of time. And since Illumi just so happens to choose this time to spy on his stupid brother, Hisoka just opted to playing while waiting for Illumi to finish quenching his brotherly instincts. 

Supposedly, it wasn't so bad. After all, these kinds of moments give him time to think. But he's been sitting in his confounded ass for three hours! 

Mental note: When Illumi says, "I'll be out for a little while", choose that time to take a long nap or opt to reading a thick, hardbound book.

Speaking of thinking and Illumi, it just crossed him a short while back that he just made his infatuation with Illumi known. As if the whole lamenting session during the beginning of the exam wasn't clue enough. It was a good thing that that dumb guy ran over him. Despite the fact that Illumi kept threatening him if he won't shut up - good-naturedly, mind - he couldn't help but notice the sudden tension in the assassin's posture. It seems as though he wasn't used to such kind of attention. 

Well, it's Illumi's fault. He's the pretty one, his appeal speaking in favor of either sex. Though for a guy, he seems to have a bit of connection with his hair. Hisoka wonders what his parents think of it. Besides, must he go around looking so utterly adorable? Maybe some people might not agree, but hey, opinions vary. 

He was just about to add the finishing card on the pyramid when the whole thing chose that very moment to tumble down. Hisoka let out a small laugh. _Time to go,_ he said to himself, remembering his earlier oath to stand up and seek companionship - of whose he need not mention - once the pyramid falls down. Besides, the room was getting crowded. It was ruining his mood.

* * * * *

Whoever designed the insides of the airship must've had a pretty interesting childhood. It was impossible to follow a single path. Everywhere, there were corners and hallways to turn to, doors to check that either lead to various rooms or, strangely, a long way down to the ground a hundred feet below. Or maybe scratch the childhood. Whoever made that airship was a sadistic weirdo. Sure, there are supposed to be emergency exits. But shouldn't there be locks on those things?

After meeting death in the eye in the form of free fall five disturbing times, Hisoka finally opened the right door that would lead to the outside of the ship. The outside that has something to step upon, just to add.

Why he had the feeling that he should be checking outside the ship, he didn't know. But he must admit, it was a rather good idea. For one thing, the wind was cool, but not overly cold. It was refreshing, and it poses a big difference compared to the hot, busy atmosphere of the rooms inside the ship. And the other good reason was that he had just found what - or say, who - he was looking for.

Illumi had his back to the door, the entire form of his body facing the sky they were flying in. His arms were crossed, a usual position that he always seems to have. It was rather cold to look at actually, Hisoka mused. It was as if Illumi shields himself, choosing to protect himself from everything that may come up to him from the front. He was indeed cold, both from the inside and the outside. But maybe it's also his very coldness that adds up to his beauty, and to the challenge from which he allows Hisoka to take. 

"Let me guess. Little brother fell off the railings and you're watching him plummet to the ground." Hisoka approached the still figure of the assassin, making a show of leaning down the sides of the rails to look down on the ground below. "Am I too late to watch his little body go splat?"

The pale man sighed. "And a great big hello to you too, Hisoka," mumbled Illumi, whose eyes didn't even move to grace the magician with his gaze. "I've left Killua alone a few hours ago," he said. 

Hisoka nodded. "Finally convinced that he's safe?" 

"On the contrary, there was this girl who's also been spying on him. I bet she's one of those temperamental relatives of our family's victims," said the assassin. 

"I see. So it _is_ true that when you say you're going to 'spy' on him, you really did mean merely spying. Allow me to congratulate your brotherly compassion," mocked Hisoka, casting a grin towards Illumi. 

"Thanks a lot. Do allow me to remind you that Killua is a Zoldick. He doesn't need my help, he can take care of that girl on his own," Illumi said, not letting Hisoka get away with the sarcasms. 

"Okay. So, what happened to your disguise?" Not that he could care really. He liked Illumi this way. 

The assassin shook his head. "It's starting to hurt. I need relief from it from time to time." 

"Good," said Hisoka. "I like you this way." 

There was a long silence that surrounded them then, with only the sounds of the propellers of the airship underneath them to fill the quiet. Hisoka watched Illumi, who now stood beside him, through the corner of his eyes. The assassin once again wore the seriously grim expression that he held a few minutes ago, just before Hisoka stepped into to interfere with his silence. 

Illumi was beautiful in many ways. But it was certainly his physique and bearing that first caught the magician's eyes. Hisoka is well aware of beauty regardless of gender, it wasn't like he limits his sexual preferences anyway. Besides, Illumi is somebody who is difficult to overlook. His body is near to perfection, and he brings about an air in him that practically announces his presence. He holds the demeanor of an elite, his gaze near to condescending, but mostly, he held indifference. It didn't seem to bother him that he represents death in his hands. His eyes neither held guilt nor concern that they almost pass for innocent. 

It's almost possible to forget that he's dangerous. Almost. 

"I know what you want," he said suddenly, casting a warning glance towards Hisoka. "At least, I know a part of what you want from me," he added, now fully facing him. If not for the practiced ease from which he looks at people, one could almost say that those dark eyes were glaring. "Please bear in mind. I cannot give it."

There was a sudden chill that spread up across the magician's body. And to think that rejection came even before there was any sign of an offer. He never used his expressions the way he should, which was why it was easy enough to express what he has to give out. What happens within him is almost always hidden to the world. It was these kinds of moments when he's reminded of how thankful he was of that fact. 

"I can take a hint," he said, attempting to reflect as much sincerity as he could muster. "Don't worry, things will be all right."

Illumi nodded, perhaps assured by that statement. Hisoka should be relieved as well, seeing that he had gained back the favor of his companion. But something tugged inside of him, a light but constant pulling deep in his stomach. 

He looked at Illumi, watched the way he held his whole body steady despite the strong winds, watched as the said winds blow through his silken raven hair, watched every detail, down to the steady rising of his chest as he breathed the air in and out. The magician's gaze trailed down to the pale, long-fingered hand that held a slender forearm, only to trail up again to rest on the firm line that were those soft lips. 

He's lied a thousand times, to different people, at different times. But he never meant to lie to Illumi, or break his own words at the very least. And yet he still couldn't help but yield to the temptation of staring at those tender lips, couldn't help but imagine what they would feel like underneath his touch. 

Illumi was, for some reason, the last person he wished to deceive. But with the way things were going, Hisoka knew that things will most definitely _not_ be all right. 


	3. chapter 3

**Title:** Luminescence  
**Author: **Cherrie (kurapikasama@yahoo.com)**  
Chapter: **3/5**  
Rating: **PG-13**  
Disclaimers: **Hunter X Hunter © Yoshihiro Togashi, Shounen Jump Weekly, Shueisha and Nippon Animation. This fanfic is written for entertainment purposes only. **  
Summary: **A sequel for _Yours Truly, Hisoka_. A better explanation of their story, and what happened after the letter.**  
Notes: **I'm _so_ sorry for the long delay! . I don't exactly have a good excuse except for my other on-going fanfics, though I think you'd rather go and kill me than accept that as a proper excuse. Er, anyway, you may find one scene in this chapter as somewhat similar to another one of my fanfics, "It's Not Love". Yes, I'm running out of original ideas (come on, how many HisoIllu have I written!?), but at least the idea's initially mine. And it isn't _exactly_ the same. Yes...defensive aren't I? ^^; This chapter so far is the longest. Call it a make up chappy for taking so damn long XP  
**Warnings: **If you know me well, you should know by now that when my fanfic is in Illumi's point of view, it's shounen ai. When it's in Hisoka's point of view, it's yaoi. Major touchy scene ahead. (_Finally_ if you ask me ^0^) Useless reviews regarding the thought of Hisoka and Illumi together will be immediately deleted, so don't even think about it =P 

* * * * * * * * * *

He's content in just watching. 

At least, that's what he tried to convince himself to think. 

Hisoka realized that the capacity of his patience is somewhat relative. He hated waiting, but he isn't one to jump quickly unless he knows that it's completely necessary. Things needed to be observed first to get to know their nature, while some needed to be watched over until they're ripe enough to possess. There were many things he's interested in, many of which he can point out in the Hunter Exam.

One is that ebony-haired boy, Gon. He had proven his worth from the very start of the Exam. He is stubborn and slightly clueless when it comes to many things, but strength definitely resides in those lithe limbs, and there is a keen determination in his eyes that one can clearly see when the boy thinks about his purpose. He is the kind who will not give up even when faced with death itself, and will keep on fighting may it be sweat or blood blocking his sight. Young as he might be, he is worth the wait. 

Another is the silent blonde, Kurapika. He isn't strong enough to face him just yet, but he is a good fighter who has a strong belief in his principles. Hisoka sits long enough in dark corners to hear many things, and it is no great secret that the boy possessed the clear eyes that reflect the color of fresh blood when certain times arise. He has heard enough stories to conclude that boy's purpose, and knowing that he will soon be connected with him again, he found the need to watch him while he still can do so unnoticed. 

And then there was Killua. But the purpose of Hisoka thinking of these people is for him to at least stop thinking about whether or not the moonlit white skin of a certain somebody is just as soft and delectable as he think it is. Only the thought of fighting takes these thoughts away, and though Killua is most probably stronger than the last two people, he won't pose as much help when Hisoka was trying to _not_ think about _that_ boy's _brother_. 

Of course, to even try that is near impossible right now when the said man is just inches away from him _and_ holding his cards and doing _nothing_ but playing an innocent game with him. He was so thankful this was Gitarakuru at the very least. 

"I think you're cheating."

A small smirk spread its way to Hisoka's lips, which he quickly hid behind the confines of the two cards in his hand. Now, though he's one to keep his word (unfortunately), most especially when the one he gave his word to has a short temper and is capable of hanging him somewhere, one has to take note that he is not a very good sport. 

"I don't know what you're talking about," was his defense as he ignored the pointed stare he's getting from the other. It was pretty hard to distinguish his facial expressions really. The mask becomes slightly out of control as hours pass. 

The other was staring at the card he just pulled out, giving it a meaningful gaze before looking at the man across from him again. "You're changing the cards," he said simply, but did nothing more than place the card with the lone one that he held in his fingers. He then mixed the two up so it would be difficult to see which was which. 

"What makes you say that?" asked Hisoka as he stretched out his free hand to pluck a card from the two. His grin widened when he saw that he picked the wrong card. 

"I'll show you." Long, pale fingers reached out to take the card that looked like it wasn't the one Hisoka had just picked. Hisoka innocently tilted his head to one side as he watched the two cards quickly change faces before letting the selected one slide off his fingers. "You see? There is no way I'm ever going to win," continued that calm voice, but he still wasn't doing anything. 

"Then why do you keep on playing?" came the response as the game reached a pause. 

"Let's just say that I'm just trying to entertain us both." Piercing black eyes let out a small glint underneath the dim lights of the room, a known invitation for the magician to hurry up and just pick a card. "Plus you keep on choosing the wrong card. You're doing it on purpose."

"I am not," came yet another defensive reply. "I honestly do not know which card I'm supposed to pick. I look away when you're changing your cards so I won't know where the right one is."

A suspicious nod. "Right, so you say." He gave his cards a meaningful look before speaking again. "You and honesty do not go together."

Hisoka smirked, ignoring the insult. Instead, he reached out for his turn, paused a minute to give his opponent another innocent grin, and picked the card to his left. 

King of Hearts with his King of Spades. 

"I win." 

* * * * *

Right after Trick Tower, the applicants who passed the test were brought to a semi-deserted island for a bit of, as the chairman had called it, rest and relaxation. The applicants seemed to like this idea, and they settled themselves quite happily. Unfortunately, the island seemed to have owners, and to rent the place, they needed to pay a certain price. The island was said to be surrounded with sunken treasure ships, and these ships were presented to the applicants for them to search for riches worth the rooms they're supposed to take. 

Hisoka watched as the other applicants spread out before going off himself. He didn't think it necessary to dive in the water immediately. He decided to look around for a while to see his choices. There were a great number of ships, one of them is bound to have something out of the water. 

He scanned the vicinity for a while, going from ship to ship to check them for hidden treasures. A few moments later, he held enough to assure him a place in one of the rooms in the old couple's place, but he decided to keep on looking around anyway. The sun has painted a bright red color across the sky, signaling the coming of dusk. The insides of the ship he was currently in seemed to be on fire as the red glow spread across the rotting wood of its walls. Seeing that the interior of the ship was mostly filled with water, he was just about to turn back when he heard a light splash somewhere deeper inside. 

That wasn't supposed to cause much interest, contrary to what he's showing as he started to walk towards the sound. He's a mildly curious man, and though he had a strange feeling about all of it, he figured that it won't be as harmful as he's making himself think. 

Apparently, that was his mistake. Upon reaching the entrance to another room, he was met with a short quiet, the kind where one could even swear that there wasn't anything else there but water and the wood of the ship. Hisoka was cursing whatever it was that was making him stay because this was obviously the part where he's supposed to turn around and dismiss the noise, but for some odd reason, He. Was. Not. Moving. 

_You've got to be kidding me_, came his random thought, and he suddenly he had the idea that this was a part of the many ironies they say life tends to present a person. There wouldn't be much surprise to see whoever it was he was waiting for. 

He didn't have to wait long, for about a minute later, the middle part of the little lake he was watching began to stir. The human body is, in many ways, a traitor of some sort. The first sign was definitely the fact that he should be staying as far away from this certain person as possible, but then he finds that difficult to do so because he couldn't stand ten minutes without knowing where this person was. That's the purpose of obsessions really as far as he was concerned - to drive one mad and out of his mind. 

And then there was the second reason. He was half-attentively contemplating on how to put this one into words when he caught a glimpse of black from the water, followed by a perfect contrast of white, tinged with the small colors of crimson from the setting sun through the cracks of the ship. His eyes glinted gold as a familiar face emerged from the water. Pale lips were open to gulp in the much needed air, exposing a generous amount of that porcelain neck, just as well reflecting the same hue of sunlight to create quite an interesting scene. There were slender curves of midnight dark hair that innocently stuck themselves on the man's neck and face, and finally Hisoka realized that he was taking note of things far too detailed for comfort.

A few moments passed before his eyes met the other's, which looked mildly surprised at his being there. Slender eyebrows creased into what looked like a step below a mild glare before the owner turned away to swim towards the other side of the ship. 

"What are you doing here?" Illumi finally asked, taking the length of his hair in both hands to wring out excess water. His eyes were fixed on the jewels Hisoka held in his hands. Obviously, he won't take anything treasure hunt-related for an answer. 

The magician's eyes automatically followed the other's gaze, and a small, resigned smirk spread on his face. "Nothing," he said, clutching the gold in his hands possessively and hiding it from the other's view. After a significant pause, he added, "Watching you, actually."

Hisoka had the sudden thought that he was filling the description of a stalker quite nicely, and this amused him in a way. His amusement was further enhanced by the fact that Illumi _was_ glaring at him now, rather suspiciously. He couldn't quite blame him now, can he?

"Why?" There was a demanding tone in that voice, although one has to be used to Illumi's monotone to actually catch it. 

Hisoka was grinning now, knowing fully well about the other's discomfort. They weren't spending much time together - on purpose anyway - ever since Illumi's little scolding session back at the airship, mainly for safety purposes. 

He caught the other's watchful eye, his amusement rising slightly at the mild distrust in those dark eyes. "You wouldn't want to know," he said finally, pulling himself up to level himself up to the other's gaze. 

Illumi's lips were pursed into a thin line, as if his darkest suspicions were just proven right. Hisoka took note of the thickening air around them, and instinctively looked down at a certain jewel he held. With his free hand, he fished out a simple bangle made up of marbled black and white, its luster still intact despite the years it spent lying idly beneath other jewels. He considered it for a while, because after all, the bangle's initial purpose wasn't really to be given to an old couple to ogle over. There was also the significance of the color and the simplicity that served as the reason why it stood out among the rest. 

"Here." 

The black bangle was then thrown in the air, to be caught by the skilled hand of the assassin. "What's this?" Yet again, the suspicion in the other's voice was gravely evident, but the magician didn't pay it much mind. 

"I think it's Imperial Jade." Silence, filled mostly by a doubtful exchange between them. "Call it a gift."

Perhaps he was tired of glaring. Illumi sighed, grasping the bangle before looking back at the magician again. "What are you playing at, Hisoka?"

The room was shortly filled with laughter, seemingly feigning innocence. "Just take this as an advice," he said, ignoring the other's question. "Be careful when you put your mask away if you want me to keep my end of the agreement."

That was his last strike. The assassin didn't say anything and just threw him one last glare before stepping away to disappear behind a large crack on the far side of the ship. 

* * * * *

The rooms required the applicants to have roommates, and though the thought of taking Illumi as his own by swapping with the other applicants seemed very inviting, he figured that infuriating the assassin further wouldn't be too healthy. And so, Hisoka idly watched as various people came in and out of his room. Obviously, the other applicants were interested in selecting their own roommates despite the initial choices. 

Somehow, he ended up with one of the least interesting applicants. If he remembered correctly, the man's name was Tompa, and unless his eyes had been deceiving him, he was the very same man who's been going around annoying Gon and his friends for quite a while. At first, he thought about playing with him for a bit. It can be justified as a sort of revenge for Gon's sake, but the man's been cowering by the door ever since he stepped foot inside the room that Hisoka finally decided that he's being punished enough. 

Night fell and nothing particularly interesting happened. Deciding that there wasn't any need to think about the current Hunter Exam, Hisoka finally acknowledge the tiredness of his body. Every room in the ship was provided with a small bathroom, and trying to ignore the noise his roommate was making, the magician got himself ready for bed. 

It wasn't a few minutes before midnight before Hisoka realized two things. One was that his roommate was still awake and was making chattering noises with his teeth enough to rival a bomb. Two, he himself was wide awake and has been tossing and turning in his bed, obviously growing irritated by the other man's pathetic behavior. He considered throwing him out of the room, but by the way it looked, it would be easier to kill the man than to actually make him move. 

He had two choices. He could kill the man, like he's been considering for a while now, or he could just get up himself out of the stuffy room and go sleep elsewhere. The room was quite small and needed better ventilation. He had the idea that fresh air is lacking since his roommate's been taking huge gasps of it to keep himself calm. 

Thinking about these choices, he looked at Tompa and almost rolled his eyes when the man jumped and pushed himself further back against the wall - if that was even possible. Sighing, he stood up, much to the other's alarm. But he paid him no heed and just walked towards the door, ignoring the man's pleas for his life as he passed him by. 

The air outside was significantly cooler than that inside the room, so Hisoka decided that it really would be better to stay out. He wasn't exactly sure if that was allowed, because after all the old couple gave them no choice and just told them to rent rooms. But he wouldn't worry about it. It wasn't like it was a said rule enough to get him kicked out of the Exam after all. 

Quietly, he made his way down the halls, taking note of the closed doors along the way. The place was obviously occupied by the other applicants. There was no use looking around in there. 

There was a light in the end of the hallway, and Hisoka thought that maybe it would lead out into the open. Seeing that he really had no other place to go, he walked towards the light, taking note of the cold wind that seemed to be coming outside, the smell of the sea lingering. 

There were certain points of life that one has to take note of somehow. There were the concepts of fate and coincidence, of luck, of instinct, and many other things that people claim to be impossible to explain. It's almost possible to cross out the idea of chance as far as current circumstances were concerned, for again he had that feeling that he wasn't - wouldn't be - alone by the time he'd stepped out of the dark hall. 

The backside of the ship seemed to be deserted at first, dark, illuminated only by the light of the moon above, with only the liquid crash of the waves to fill in the silence. But similar to the many instances when his instinct seemed to have developed a sixth sense for the objects of his fascination, it didn't even take him a second to catch the shadow that hid itself quite well behind the darkness. The assassin had that strange effect on him. Despite any situation, Hisoka would know if the other was near. 

"Don't you think it funny," he said, letting his presence known. The shadow quickly sat up and turned towards his direction, but Hisoka dismissed the urge to smirk and just continued, "that whenever you find yourself a quiet place to expose your secret, I always end up disturbing you?" 

A few steps more and he found himself face to face with the assassin, their gazes locking against the other's in a quiet duel. Illumi was sitting on the bottom frame of one of the wide open windows, one leg propped up across him while the other remained safely inside the ship. One arm laid casually on his flat stomach while the other hung from his shoulder outside the window, hidden from view. 

"Yes," said the assassin, letting out a tired sigh. "And I also find it funny that I'll be asking again: What are you doing here?" he asked, staring up at the other with the same piercing black eyes. 

The magician grinned, tilting his head playfully as if he was regarding a child. "The problem with you is that you can't seem to trust me," he accused, though still grinning. 

"With what you've been doing, you can't really blame me," retorted the other, giving Hisoka yet another sharp stare before looking out into the sea again. 

Hisoka took note of the playfulness between their exchanges. Despite the discomfort Illumi seemed to be feeling around him, he still held himself well enough, unlike the other applicants who seemed like they couldn't stand ten feet from him. It set him apart from all the rest, and for a while Hisoka thought that having Illumi around brings about a worthy consolation for the weird and mostly fearful stares he gets from the other applicants. 

It took him a while to notice the long silence between them, but strangely he found no need to break it. Something about the way Illumi stayed still told him to keep quiet, but a moment later his attention was pulled by the way Illumi's shoulder unconsciously shifted. His eyes snaked down the assassin's pale arm, stopping abruptly when he saw no further behind what the rest of Illumi's body hid. 

He was too busy staring that he didn't even notice it when his body moved to reach out for the assassin's wrist. He gripped the cold skin before pulling it up to level it with his eyes. He missed the look of mild surprise from the other, for he was too busy staring at the dead white fingers and the dark ring the size of the assassin's palm held in them. It was the jade bangle he gave him earlier that day. 

He spent quite a while staring at it, almost in disbelief. The fact that the other actually kept it caught him by surprise that he didn't even have enough space in his head to be smug about it. His mind completely blank, he turned to look at Illumi, who somehow ended up staring thoughtfully at the bangle as well. Nothing in his eyes allowed the magician to read anything, like always, and he remained completely silent about the whole thing. Instead, he caught Hisoka's eyes, and for a full minute the bangle was completely forgotten. 

Like the many things that he's been thinking about lately, there was another thought that bugged him. There were things that can completely be ignored and avoided with the proper strength and patience, but they say that there were also things that, no matter how much one tries to get away from it, will happen eventually in just a matter of time. Life had been sadistic enough to keep on placing him wherever the assassin was in what seems like a plot to torture him. What more can pose as further surprises? 

Of course, further rational thoughts would be hard to mentally manipulate when that beautiful face is barely inches from his own, especially when said inches were beginning to disappear with every closing second. The distance between them was too close for comfort. He could feel the other's breathing, shallow and rushed, and though the assassin was still as calm as he usually is, there was a noticeable rise in his temperature. Or was it _his _temperature? Hisoka had no more time to contemplate on this, for much as his mind commanded him to pull away lest he wanted to face Illumi's wrath at a very wrong time, rationality was slipping fairly quickly. 

He was _so_ close. 

"Don't." 

Whether or not he was able to visibly shake his head did not register in his mind, for not even a second later that word was whispered, one - or even _both_ - of them leaned in and closed the gap. 

_Soft_. That was the first thought that came to his mind. Completely still and eyes half-closed, he looked up at the other and caught his just as dazed stare. There was nothing in those eyes that was possible to read, but he held them for as long as he could. But not long after did the assassin break the eye contact as those pale lids slowly drifted closed, soft eyelashes tickling his skin. Hisoka followed suit, and made a tentative movement with his bottom lip to brush against the assassin's own. Pleasure burst through him like electricity, and immediately his hand crept up to the back of the other's neck, feeling the silky strands of hair slide through his fingers as he pulled the other close. His other hand rested on the leg resting on the window and twisted the other's body to what he thought would be a more comfortable position, the assassin completely facing him, straddling his body, further heating up the rising warmth between them. 

He hadn't taken note of how long they stayed that way. He even went as far as completely forgetting where he was. All that he could think of was the soft feel of Illumi's bottom lip between his teeth, and how much it elated him to pull away to keep breathing, only to be reacquainted with the other's lips again once they meet again. There was an ill sort of comfort at the feel of Illumi's fingers buried in his hair, pushing and pulling in a random pattern. Nothing seemed to make sense, and eventually he found himself breaking the kiss to slip towards the skin beneath the assassin's ear, going up to give the soft lobe a nibble before sliding down to finally taste the smooth neck he's been obsessing over for months. 

Despite the dangerous thought of dismissing everything else around him, he couldn't help but get acquainted with another thing about life he's been cursing lately. There was also the sense of timing in certain situations that need to thought of. 

From a distant part of his mind he could hear a disturbing noise, like that supposedly silent engine of an airship as it makes its way towards the sky. Much as he tried to push the unpleasant noise away, it insisted quite irritatingly, forcing him to stop whatever it was that he was doing to look at the direction from which the noise was coming from. In his arms he could feel Illumi's weight leave him. Inwardly, Hisoka cursed whoever it was that disturbed them and wished that they die a slow, painful death. 

For a moment all that they saw was a faceless noise coming from the front end of the ship. But almost immediately after, a mark of white showed itself from above them, red blinking lights giving them a glimpse of the familiar airship. It was the same ship that brought them to the island, and from a distance, they could see the faces of the old couple from a window on the side of the ship. 

"I knew it," came the low voice of the assassin, breaking the moment completely as he fluidly slid his way from Hisoka's hold and made his way down the hall without even a backward glance. Hisoka watched wordlessly, strangely unmoving despite all that has happened. Just before Illumi completely disappeared in the darkness, his footsteps came to a halt and his voice resonated through the thick silence. 

"I'll forget whatever it was that happened here," he said, his voice regaining its familiar coldness. "I suggest you do so as well." For the second time that day, Illumi left him and slipped past into the darkness. 

For a moment all he did was stare at the place where he last saw the assassin, feeling a strange anger for the first time since they've met. He turned around, thinking of a way to vent up his anger somewhere, when a small sparkle from the window caught his eyes. He reached down to take it and felt the cold smoothness in his hand. 

It was a polished black bangle made of Imperial Jade. 


	4. chapter 4

**Title:** Luminescence  
**Author: **Cherrie (kurapikasama@yahoo.com)**  
Chapter: **4/5**  
Rating: **PG-13 **  
Disclaimers: **Hunter X Hunter © Yoshihiro Togashi, Shounen Jump Weekly, Shueisha and Nippon Animation. This fanfic is written for entertainment purposes only. **  
Summary: **The story surrounding _Yours Truly, Hisoka_.**  
(Useless) Notes: **You know...I think Kuroro's not so bad for Illumi. I mean, I dunno...I was just watching episode 62 a while ago and--*gets hit by a violently thrown telephone post* Gack! He-ey, I was just sharing! *gets hit by a sharply thrown bulldozer* Okay...shutting up! . Onto another note that makes better sense. I keep having this great big wall in front of me every time I write something for _Luminescence_, I don't know why. Ever noticed that I update this fic after every _month_!? . But one more chapter and it's over, and I expect to finish this thing around a week from now. I've got the story figured out anyway, unlike before XP Special thanks to Katatsumuli (the words you said to me during our first exchanges are the best compliments anyone ever said to me. I don't know if you still remember them, but thank you so much!), Quince (for your enthusiasm. I don't know, you moved me I guess ^^; It really means a lot) and Clara (for reminding me that I still have an on-going fanfic by not liking the outcome of _Yours Truly, Hisoka_. Hehe, I didn't like it either. I mean, that's what this fic is for, right? ^0^) 

* * * * * * * * * * 

The past few days have been spent playing games. Illumi, true to his word, seemed to have completely forgotten about what happened in the ship. He didn't speak of it, nor did he treat Hisoka any differently from how he had before. There were those few moments when he'd stare at him longer than he's supposed to, but other than that, there was nothing. He ignored the magician's attempts in avoiding him, even if it was clear that the man was upset about being dismissed the way Illumi had dismissed him. 

Still, Hisoka spent his time ignoring Illumi. He pushed away any sign of help from the other, speaking only in short phrases if necessity truly calls for it. But it wasn't completely because of his anger towards the assassin that made him feel that way. In fact, usually the thrill of a chase would entertain him far more than the other party's actual submission. But in a way, Illumi's case was different. He did not give Hisoka the right reactions the other wished to get from him. His indifference with the situation insulted the magician gravely, but why he still thought about him, he wasn't really sure. He didn't know _why_ he insisted on watching him still. 

That was why he gave special effort in shifting his attention elsewhere. Gon was a perfect target whenever Hisoka wanted to run around after someone else. The only problem though was that wherever Gon was, Killua was there as well. And with his supposed companion's strange brotherly instincts, wherever Killua was, Illumi wasn't far away. Somehow, it was almost as if they were chasing after the same thing. 

He was somehow thankful during that time when he became Gon's target during one of the final tests. Illumi had hidden himself underground - which was a truly added bonus really - for safety purposes, or so he said. The magician had his fun, but it didn't last for long. By the time that certain test was over, Illumi had been the one to come to him once again. He was tempted to throw away his mobile phone really, just so Illumi won't be able to bother him through it. 

If he was upset last time, he was near to being furious now. Despite the ice that Illumi conveniently set between them, they kept the facade of being together, perhaps for the sake of the agreement. Neither of them were one to break his given word when he meant to keep it. But still, Hisoka kept his distance. After all, that was what Illumi wanted for him to do, wasn't it? Usually, this would bother him, doing what was wanted of him. But right now, he really didn't care. All he wanted was to figure out his supposed purpose of actually _wanting_ to be with Illumi still. 

Which was probably why his head was throbbing right now. True, he's been having a severe headache for trying to think, but this time, he had a more physical reason for having a painful head. The cold glass of the airship's windows were hard, and perfect for knocking some sense into one's head. It was usually a useful way to clear your head, but for some reason, it wasn't working. 

_Maybe I should just kill him,_ he thought to himself after much thinking. It bothered him that this wasn't the first thought to come to him. After all, one of his personal principles was to kill whoever came in his way, or whoever felt dangerous. But why did that certain thought seem so difficult to accept? He knew it wasn't because he was afraid of Illumi. It was something else. 

What the _hell_ was wrong with him? 

Resigned, he settled on moving away from the glass and nestling the tender skin on his temple. The alcohol aboard the airship was wonderful, and it's doing a pretty good job of easing away the random thoughts in his head. 

"I didn't know you drink heavy liquor," came a voice from behind him. 

Startled somewhat - it was annoying the way he kept losing his guard these days - he turned his head around and looked over his shoulder. With a few more steps, Illumi's tall figure loomed over the side of the table, staring at the golden liquid rippling in Hisoka's glass. He followed that gaze and gave his drink a thoughtful glance before shrugging. "I do when I'm really upset about something," he said, not even minding whether or not Illumi caught his annoyance. 

The assassin was silent as he slid into the seat across from Hisoka, eyeing the magician and his drink alternately. With a final hard look, Illumi's eyes shifted from him to the glass window, looking out at the white, misty clouds outside. He didn't look at Hisoka again after that. 

Cold suspicion rose inside him. He pushed himself to stop looking at the pale assassin and just looked down at his glass, gold sparkling inside clear crystal. Thoughtfully, as if in a trance, he lifted the brim to his lips, fully intending to gulp down a mouthful. Slowly, a dull sweetness, one he could've missed had he been less attentive, flowed through his tongue, making him stop his initial intentions of drinking the glass's contents. He gave the glass a long calculating look before it finally hit him. 

Poison. 

The small glass was settled down, doing soft 'clink' as it bump against the many other empty ones on the table. His eyes widened somewhat before coming back to its usual shape. He didn't say anything, and just stared out the glass window, contemplating on his thoughts. If he's right about the poison, he hadn't seen Illumi put anything. But then who else could it have been? After all, he wasn't really paying much attention, so he must've missed it. 

So, what did it mean? Illumi's trying to get rid of him now? He suddenly realized that he was far too tired to act any more surprised. It didn't seem strange anyway. After all, isn't that the same thought he's been playing with in his mind himself? Kill or be killed. The same rule applied for Illumi. _Especially_ with Illumi. 

But he felt cold still, an unpleasant feeling of betrayal. He couldn't help but ask himself why. This was where it all led to. It wasn't unexpected, but still... 

There were so many thoughts that came to him then. How potent was the poison? Can it really kill him? Or was it meant for him to find out? Illumi was still quiet, avoiding his gaze until now. Did he know? 

Across the table, missing the magician's glazed eyes, the assassin's lips pursed into a tight line. A fist clenched underneath the table, opening and closing in tension as the stillness between them went on. 

Still lost in his own thoughts, Hisoka decided that there was only one way to find out. He trusted his own health, for this won't be the first time he'd be taking in poison after all. This may be a stupid decision, and perhaps the alcohol had somehow got to him, but in one fluid motion, he took the filled glass in his hand, held it up to his lips and started to tilt it up. 

A loud crash broke through the small room as the glass was quickly slapped away from the magician's hands and smashed against the wooden divider that separated their table from the others. The room was thankfully empty. The other applicants must be somewhere else, studying due to that rumor that somehow spread its way inside the ship.

Tired as he was, Hisoka couldn't help but gape at his stinging, now empty hand. Somewhat confused as to what exactly happened, he looked up at the assassin across from him. Strangely, Illumi was also eyeing his own hand, the very same one that just back-handed Hisoka's own to make him drop the glass. His usual blank face was now creased with an obvious confusion, and his voice shook as he spoke. 

"What...the hell just happened?" he asked, shifting his gaze shakily from his hand to the magician's eyes.

Hisoka was silent. He himself was asking the same question, and he assumed that Illumi would be the one who held the answer. But he eventually tried to mask his own shock as he took the scene in front of him in. He realized that this was the first that he'd see Illumi put down his guard. Confusion and a slight annoyance marred the assassin's face as his eyes now rested on the broken shards of glass that now lay on the floor. As if stabbed by something that couldn't be seen, Illumi's eyes drifted closed, and his head fell on a dead fall on his folded arms upon the table. 

Hisoka watched the other with an ill sort of interest mixed with his own confusion, and he kept still up until Illumi seemed to have fainted. He recognized the other's consciousness though through his breathing. They were fast, but shallow, and almost labored. Intending to shake the other from whatever it was that was wrong with him, Hisoka reached out to touch those still arms when Illumi moved. A hand shot up and slapped the magician's hand a second time, though now, the action seemed to be much weaker than the last. 

But he did it anyway. It was almost as if Illumi repulsed his touch. 

"That thing was meant to kill me, wasn't it?" asked Hisoka, his eyes now on the floor where the broken glass lay. 

It took a while before Illumi responded, and when he did so, his voice was low and muffled. "I'm just tired," he said, one hand clenching and unclenching, almost clawing at the hard, wooden table. He didn't even seem to hear Hisoka's question. "But I still can't do it." 

* * * * * 

By the time Hisoka got the strength to stand up, he quickly left the room, fighting the urge to turn around and look back at the assassin. Actually, 'left' was a bit weak for it. He more like _bolted_ out of the room. And there he had been thinking that Illumi was the biggest blob of ice to ever walk this Earth. He was so close to being free from him, had he spent a few more time drinking and thinking of a way to get himself rid of him. 

But no. Like always, Illumi went on his way to disarm him again. Everything would have been easier if he had thought that Illumi hated him and his guts. Things would've been easier had Illumi just punched him on the face, or something near to that. So by then, the (imaginary) hatred between them wouldn't be so one-sided, and he would hate Illumi eventually and - fuck their truce - they'd end up battling it to the very end. 

_Get rid of him_. That was what his instincts told him to do. If you're confused over something, end your misery. But after Illumi's failed assassination attempt, he doubted he could do the same fit and succeed. Illumi was the expert as far as assassinations are concerned. And between them both, he seemed colder and calmer. But he failed. 

Right now, Hisoka just felt drained. So his little infatuation wasn't as one-sided as he thought after all. But what the hell was the problem? Illumi can't be _that_ prudish, can he? So their little alliance had small issues concerning lust. Hasn't the guy ever heard of friends with benefits? 

Maybe it had something to do with his family. But he really couldn't see the point. This has nothing to do with his occupation whatsoever. Really, he wasn't even asking much. All this trouble for just one moment. One night probably and he might be sated. Just until the end of the exam and they'd then go on their own merry way. 

Right? 

He stared out into the distance, past the clouds and the blue of the sky. One night to satiate all his longings. Would it really be enough? How about two? Three? He tires easily anyway, so will _those_ suffice?

He looked down at his right hand, at his reddened knuckles where Illumi just back-handed him. Where Illumi just _stopped_ him from stupidly killing himself. Come to think of it, the poison must've been potent for him, being that it was from Illumi's hands. He heard that ordinary poison doesn't work on your typical Zoldick, so they must be studying and coming up with various alterations to train them harder. Illumi once mentioned that one of his brothers spend his entire time inside their mansion, just thinking of new ways to train (torture, to be precise) the family. 

Whatever it was that stopped Illumi from what he initially planned to do, Hisoka had a feeling that it was the same thing that made him rethink his own thoughts of killing the other. Something has gone terribly wrong between them, and it's almost funny because it shouldn't have been that way. They were two of the most unlikely people that prowl this planet to suffer from confusion regarding themselves and their place for others. There never _had_ been an 'other' in Hisoka's world, and he knew that the same thing applied for Illumi. 

So...one night. Or until the exam was over. If Illumi would give himself to him, he'd let him off, right? 

Right.

So, again. What the _hell_ was _wrong_?

Frustrated with himself, Hisoka banged his head straight for the clear glass window overlooking the sky outside. He's been doing that a lot lately. Whether or not the action actually helped in clearing his thoughts, he wasn't exactly sure. He just felt like doing it to shake his head a bit. 

Hunger had become desperation, and in a way, his desperation became an obsession. An obsession so strong he doubted he'd get over it. Even if he'd finally get his hands on that assassin, it's not going to help. He'll just take him for himself and he'll hold on to him till he die trying. Illumi was different, and Hisoka knew he can put up with him. He realized that he knew this all along, and somehow his subconscious planted it in his mind that if ever he actually _has_ a lifetime partner, it has to be Illumi. He wondered if Illumi thought of this too? Was that the reason why he was so bothered?

No. He was overreacting. His stupid brain was overreacting. This was part of the reason why just wished he didn't have to use it so often. His brain and alcohol never went well together. 

He had to come up with a good explanation for what was wrong with him, so he can get rid of the other as soon as possible. Hisoka's life was meant to be led alone, where _he_ was in complete control. And no other person must interfere. He does _not_ have a lifelong partner.

He banged his head on the hard glass again to get this _fact_ inside his system. 

* * * * * 

_Shit._

There's no other word for it. If somebody asked him to summarize his current life as of now in one single word, that's pretty much it: Shit.

The Hunter Exam went easier than he expected, and came out a bit of a disappointment when he actually passed it. It's unfair. He just lost his playground and just concluded that his life was comparable to a bowl of rotten apples. And how come Illumi got what he wanted? He had the license _and_ he got his brother home. Everything just seems to go his way and against Hisoka's. 

Well, one thing actually came out good. He _had_ Gon's attention. He found that out when he caught sight of the boy's heated stare at him during the final exam. He clutched Hisoka's number - that one from the hunting test - tightly before pocketing it before anybody sees. If anybody would bother to remember, Gon was what Hisoka placed between himself and Illumi. Illumi had his Killua, then Hisoka has Gon. It was his way of showing that he wasn't delusional when he doesn't have to be. Gon was a good fixation, and less complicated. If only he could convince himself that it would be so much better to forget about Illumi and just go for what he's really known for. 

But oh no. Life's a bitch because Hisoka just found out last night - when he found out that he's somehow suffering from light insomnia (and to think life couldn't get any worse) - that he was human. A bit twisted, but human. There was something about Illumi that he just couldn't let go. That was why he agreed to meet him here, in this cozy little place, right after the exam. They managed to get together after all the applicants - or should he say, _Hunters_ - left to whatever direction their little booties led them to. He and Illumi should be admired actually, and should be given more credit besides their feared reputation in the Hunter Exam. They can still face each other civilly after all that has happened. Any normal person would bolt for the nearest bus station if they were in their place.

Then again, maybe credit should just be given to Illumi. Because here he was, rapping the tip of a pen on the paper laid out in front of him. Frustration visibly etched his face. A mountain-stack of crumpled papers sat beside him. Why he was having a hard time with it, he didn't know. Why he even _had_ to do this, he didn't know either. Why - when he read what he wrote - he sounded like some pathetic, lovesick puppy pushing a forbidden love off his back, he seriously didn't know. 

That certain paper went to the stack as well. 

There's something appealing about head banging. Either that, or it had just grown out of habit. It doesn't matter really, because Hisoka did it anyway before asking the waiter for yet another piece of paper. That was...what, the sixth time he asked him that? Oh well. He was a paying customer anyway. He'll just leave the guy a big tip when he's done. 

And so started the whole agonizing act of writing again. His hand ached from all the scribbling, but something has possessed him to do this and much as he'd rather jump off a cliff than admit that he felt partially guilty - guilty! _Guilty!? _He was _Hisoka_ for cryin' out loud! Who just _died_ and confirmed the apocalypse!? - for what he was planning to do, he kept it up anyway. A few minutes later, it was over, and though he still sounded like a complete sap in that certain letter, it was better than the other crap he's come up with before. 

But that, of course, doesn't justify the fact that he just wrote what looked like a crossbreed between a love letter, a plea, and a death will. This would be so much easier if he'd just zip and leave the guy alone and with so, they can forget they even met. But he supposed that he didn't _want_ to be forgotten just like that. He wanted to leave a mark for a reason only the devil knows what. 

He stared at the letter one final time, waiting for the ground to open up and sputter hellfire to burn the paper in his hands to uphold what was left of his dignity. But nothing happened, and sad to say, the place was as cool and comfortable as an old woman's cottage in the middle of a meadow. Hah. Listen to him. So he's now thinking about that? What next, consider catching butterflies?

With a single flick of a hand, the waiter he's been bugging all afternoon was beside him again, doing a mighty good job smiling. He could see that the poor kid was tempted to ask a sarcastic question, something around, "Another paper, sir?" Though he was tempted to ask for another one just to piss him off, he was on a time limit here. Any minute and Illumi would arrive. 

"A pale young man with long black hair will arrive soon," he told the boy as he began to stand up. He folded the letter twice, sealed it with his nen to get rid of prying eyes - he eyed the young boy pointedly at this - and handed it to him. "Please give this to him."

"Any messages, sir?" the boy asked.

"No, no messages," said Hisoka. He fished out a couple of bills from his pocket, kind of small for him but large enough for a commoner, and handed it to the boy, not missing the look of pure glee on the young man's face. It's not that he's being kind. He just wanted to make sure that the job was done. 

He made to leave, but immediately stopped in his tracks when he just remembered something else. He turned around, holding yet another item to the young waiter. "And before I forget," he said, handing him a black bangle, the same one from the deserted island. He didn't exactly know why he even bothered, but he suspected he's growing insane anyway. "It's his. He'll be looking for it. Give it to him as well."

And with that, he left. He called in a cab to get him to the airport. But before he stepped in, he took a final glance around, wondering if he could take one last glimpse of a certain assassin. With his luck, he knew he wouldn't see anything even if he begged on his knees for heaven to at least give him that much. So with a resigned sigh, he went inside the cab, threw away his mobile phone on the ditch, and finally closed the door behind him. 

The cab sped away. Lying upright on the ground, the discarded cellphone began to ring. 


	5. chapter 5

**Title:** Luminescence  
**Author: **Cherrie (kurapikasama@yahoo.com)**  
Chapter: **5/5 **  
Rating: **PG-13 **  
Disclaimers: **Hunter X Hunter © Yoshihiro Togashi, Shounen Jump Weekly, Shueisha and Nippon Animation. This fanfic is written for entertainment purposes only. **  
Summary: **The story surrounding _Yours Truly, Hisoka_.**  
Notes: ***looks mildly disturbed by what she wrote in 'chapter'* The last chapter! *falls into a relieved heap on the floor* Anyway, let me just point something out before somebody mentions it. If anybody would care to notice, this fanfic is a bit fast-paced. Scenes are cut and in almost every part, Hisoka is always with Illumi and vice versa. Well, you see, this is just a take on _how_ Hisoka and Illumi got together even with that *points menacingly at _Yours Truly, Hisoka_* letter there. Nothing in the anime changes, and we all know what happens there, right? I'm only going on the in-betweens, I need not repeat anything. That's how I take it anyway. If anybody wants to say otherwise...well, I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to do those repetitions on your own ^.^' Anyway, this chapter is kind of weird, and the characters are a little bit OOC. I'll think about how to get rid of that =P  
**Dedication:** Sacks and sacks of Hisoka plushies to Shin Kurosaki. You're the best! The fanart was wonderful, thank you so much!!! *glomps enthusiastically* 

* * * * * * * * * * 

_If you think you've achieved a victory, take note of your mistake. There are yet things left to be settled, and you've had your way long enough. If you think you're the only one capable of decisions, then you're even more foolish than I suspected you to be. _

_It's my turn now. _

* * * * * 

Not another stupid meeting. 

Hisoka tried really hard to keep himself from knocking his head on the wall behind him. As usual, he was sitting on the farthest seat from the group as Kuroro yapped himself to oblivion regarding that night's plans. True, careful preparations were needed, but with the guy's calm exterior set aside, one would almost pass him up as a victim of paranoia. He thought of every little angle, and though that's usually a good thing, one has to admit that it gets boring after a quarter of an hour passed. 

"I suppose that everyone still remembers the initial command?" asked the Kuroro, taking the leader's seat in front of the whole group as usual. 

"Kill everyone that gets in the way," answered one of the members, a slightly diabolical grin playing on his lips behind his cape. Feitan, if Hisoka remembered correctly. It was hard to think about it, but that guy was more or less older than he was despite the height. Looks would truly deceive one if he stopped taking caution . 

"That's right," said Kuroro again. He paused to look around at every single member, his expression still and relaxed as it's always been. Hisoka wished to wipe that smug look off the guy. It gave him a solemn yet deadly atmosphere, the kind that would give one the confidence to take over the world. Hisoka supposed that it was the very aura that drew him to the leader. He yearned to face the man in battle and finally shed his blood, and his patience was wearing thin. How many years does he have to endure just to get the guy alone? He felt trapped being with this group, wary of their closeness and loyalty. Not everybody is meant to be in a team, and Hisoka believed that he was a part of those people. 

He wanted a good fight. Ever since the end of the Hunter Exam, Hisoka had constantly fought in various battles in and out of arenas. He had reasons for his more aggressive actions far more than he was willing to admit. But he was quite sure of one thing. When all else fails, the hardship of a worthy battle would always soothe his mind, and right now, that was exactly what he just needed. Kuroro was just a bastard enough to keep himself out of Hisoka's reach until now. 

Oblivious to one of his members' different lines of thoughts, Kuroro continued. "As expected, the Mafia community regards this auction as a grand event, and guards prowl the perimeter in every angle. Several assassins were also hired to especially maintain order." 

"We can take them," said yet another cheeky member, Phinx. 

Kuroro let out a small smile. "True," he said, nodding his head once. "But I always prefer to take precautions. As all of you remember, we are one member short right now," at this, the leader cast Nobunaga a look. The samurai let out a regretful sigh and nodded in understanding. Hisoka had to admit. For a heartless man, Kuroro can give comfort. "During the time when the Mafia community hired their assassin groups, I met one assassin who preferred to work outside the side of the Mafia. He knew me at once. I'm still wondering how he was able to do that. But he said he shall keep his silence, and offered me his services." 

"We can't trust an outsider," said Phinx immediately upon hearing the leader's story. "How can we be sure that he isn't working for the Mafia as well? Besides, we can take them _without_ outside help." 

Again, Kuroro let out yet another haunting smile. "Is anybody here familiar with the Zoldick's?" he asked. 

Much as he tried, Hisoka couldn't help but stiffen at the mere mention of that name. Damn his body and his lustful obsessions. If there's one thing Hisoka hated about himself, it's his tendency to remain obsessed. It was all so simple before. Obsess upon worthy challenges and hunt for their blood. But he had ignored the growing fixation he had for a certain man, ignored the fact that what he felt was different, and it grew to dangerous heights until he had stooped so low as to run away from it merely because he couldn't understand anything about him anymore. 

What was worse was that he might've ran away, and he might've escaped, but once he's hooked, he'll never forget. That was how his mind worked, and that's what was driving him to go on. And yet, he discovered that even the most reliable characteristics could become the most treacherous ones as well. 

"The Zoldick clan is well-known for their highly-praised assassination work," explained Kuroro, though of course, every one of them has heard of the name at least once. "They never act for a single man alone, and their loyalty is bounded only by the money paid by their employers. The Mafia against the Geneiryodan. It's a wonderful battle, don't you think?" 

Kuroro paused and saw that all the members' eyes were on him. Hisoka hated to admit it, but even he himself was actually listening. 

"Though one may have his guesses, he can never know which side will prevail. And if my presumptions are correct, the Zoldick clan, not knowing which side to take..." 

"Will take both sides," finished one of the younger members, Shalnark. 

Kuroro smiled and nodded. "That's right," he said. He cast everyone a knowing look. "It's all about the money. Trust and loyalty is never a factor." 

As if on cue, footsteps rose from the darkened stone entrance of the room. Hisoka, as well as the other members, watched the shadows until a distinct form emerged from the darkness. Clad in dark magenta, the figure of a pale man walked towards the center of the room and stood just beside Kuroro, his black hair cascading in a spellbinding dance behind him. 

"My friends," said Kuroro, gesturing towards the outsider. "Meet Illumi Zoldick." 

* * * * * 

_You have questions you refuse to ask. You really don't have to. Maybe if you would just lay still and listen, perhaps I could give you the answers. _

_But you already know what they are. _

_You just refuse to accept them. _

* * * * * 

His whole body was tingling all over, as if thousands of needles pricked his skin simultaneously. He could feel the hair on his arms rise as he tried to close the distance between Machi and himself. He couldn't blame the situation, even if they were already given the order to kill as much as they could. Excitement, though it was still there, was not the reason why he felt so strange. 

"Hey, come on, jester. What's slowing you down?" asked the blue-haired woman in front of him as she turned her head to look at him. She urged him on, just as she was shooting down her nen-made threads at the guards shouting at them to stop. With a quick pull of her arm, five of them were lifted from the ground, struggling from the chords until they ran out of breaths. 

That was the third time she had to call him to keep up, and his patience with himself was wearing thin. Hisoka shook his head awake, and heaved out a frustrated sigh. This was not the time for him to start daydreaming. He willed his strange thoughts away and exerted more speed in his steps to fall in beside Machi. 

"Lighten up, babe. There are enough thugs here for the both of us," he said, giving her a bright grin as he held up his cards. They eventually flew to designated directions, all hitting their targets. Bullets rained at them both, and the two had to hide behind the shadows of the trees as more guards burst out from the building. 

Machi stood behind the tree, waiting for an opportunity. The leader of the guards yelled at the others for their incompetence, and threw various other insults just to keep them going. Machi watched as the group grew in number, her knuckles cracking as she lifted her hand, ready to strike. 

"You know him, don't you?" she asked all of a sudden, her voice low and only above a whisper, catching Hisoka in yet another daze. Hisoka was thankful that she had her eyes elsewhere lest she sees him in his current state. 

"Who?" He knew fully well who they were talking about, but he was far too frustrated with himself to admit it. He didn't really want to talk about him, after all. Machi was right there with him, and if he wanted to think of somebody to lust over or whatever it was that he needed, she's always there. She's always been there. She never showed interest, but that never stopped him. If he would think about it, things would be more simple if he just wanted her instead. He'll flirt, they'll fight, Machi will glare, Hisoka would grin triumphantly. She was never one to coil him around her little finger and control his thoughts. Machi would never destroy him like he was being destroyed now. 

But why did his mind refuse to take that idea in!? 

"I remember that boy from the Sky Arena, the one you were always watching," she said, her eyes never leaving the guards. "He had a companion. A Zoldick. I assumed that he and our new friend are brothers." 

"What makes you think that I know this other one just because I know somebody who is friends with his brother?" asked Hisoka, keeping up an excellent front in keeping his nonchalance. Nothing in his voice betrayed his guilt. 

But Machi knew better. A small smirk played on her lips. "You underestimate a fellow Henka, Hisoka," she said, a golden sparkle in her eyes. "You may wish to lie and keep secrets from the group, but you can't hide something so obvious from me." 

Hisoka frowned, not liking the course of their conversation. Machi never talked to him voluntarily, so why was she starting now? "What are you talking about?" he asked, for once serious in her presence. He never really talked to the other members, but he would always find himself after Machi. He always had the upper-hand, and she would always be the one to end up walking away. But why was he at the receiving end of her jeers now? 

Machi's laughter was light, even when the stickiness of her mockery ebbed through the edges. "You were watching him," she said, as if that very statement proved her point. Perhaps it had, for Hisoka found himself silent in her presence for once, his eyes flashing irately in the dark. In her mind, Machi draw out a triumphant line, a tally of her victory in a verbal fight against Hisoka. 

The number of the guards have diminished to a controllable number, and Machi decided that this was her opportunity. With a quick sweep of her fingers, her threads sparkled against the lights. She gave Hisoka no heed, no warning of her plans. All that she gave him was yet another statement to wake him up. 

"And do you know something else, jester?" she asked, using that playful nickname she had given him just to mock him. "He was watching you, too."

* * * * *

_Being trapped is a sickening feeling, isn't it? As a child, I've always hated it to be completely honest. It's quite amusing to see you in it, though. You're trapped, aren't you? _

_Play the game, Hisoka. Play our game again. _

* * * * *

It was hopeless. _He_ was hopeless. Nobody's perfect, and hey, mistakes happen. But he should've known he couldn't trust that child. His emotions had a firm hold on him, his youth needing far more wisdom still. His anger drove him to his own confusion, and perhaps that was the reason why he forgot about their agreement, or just chose to turn away from it. 

Kurapika had used Hisoka's aid to get a hold of Kuroro, and yet, there Hisoka was, trapped in that warehouse with a giant zombie and a mummy. He cast a wary glance towards his two companions, yet without much enthusiasm to insult them in his mind as he wont to do. He didn't know whether he should regret what he had just done as he now waited for his signal. He couldn't help but ask still. 

Why was he here? 

At first, he thought that what Kuroro said to them was the whole truth. That Illumi was just here for the family business, cared crap about him and was after the money alone. He even convinced himself to stop thinking about him, even when Machi's parting words still haunt the back of his mind every time he would get the chance to clear his thoughts. But even if some of his attempts worked, Illumi still found a way to get through him and Hisoka would have to start all over again. The man spoke in riddles, yet Hisoka found himself understanding the other's words. 

Illumi wasn't after the money at all. In fact, it seemed as though he only used that as an excuse. Hisoka refused to admit what the other was truly after.

A distant sound of footsteps and falling debris echoed through the whole room, catching the attentions of the three Geneiryodan members inside. Franklin and Bonorenolf exchanged a glance and stood up. "Come, Hisoka," called Franklin. 

Upon stepping outside, it took only a low amount of the other's nen to help Hisoka know where he was. Whether or not his companions felt him too, the magician wasn't sure. Holding out a single card in hand, he stepped towards the other room. 

"Be careful," warned Franklin. 

The thousand needles on his skin acted up all over again, and Hisoka asked himself again what it was that he was doing. But he turned back and regarded the two. "I'll be all right," he said and disappeared behind the door. From behind him, he could hear that same sound of footsteps, together with Franklin's and Bonorenolf's following it, probably inspecting it without him. 

Ignoring the sounds behind him, Hisoka just kept his gaze ahead. And right there on one of the wooden crates sat an exact living replica of himself. In the dark, he could've sworn that the imitation was perfect. He had seen this trick before, but it was still so strange for him to see his face used in a mask. 

From the other side, the other Hisoka smirked and took a step forward. Though seemingly undaunted, the real one took a hesitant step back upon taking a glance at those eyes. Those weren't the eyes of the magician that he sees in the mirror whenever he would check on himself. Those were still _his_ eyes. The blank eyes of the assassin he knew, the same ones that visited him every time he would close his eyes, and they were looking at him with a strange expression in them. 

So far, Hisoka was rooted on the spot. Whether it was because of the face he was presented with or the knowledge of _who_ this really was, he wasn't sure. But needless to say, he remained still even when the few inches between them were closed and he felt warm lips touch his own. Narrow eyes widened at the contact, wondering if it would be considered a twisted kind of narcissism to find one's self enjoying the touch of somebody that looked exactly like his own face. 

The figure pulled away and refused to meet Hisoka's eyes, even when Hisoka himself tried to grab hold of that slender wrist to demand an explanation. Footsteps echoed through the room as the false Hisoka walked out to meet the other Geneiryodan members, leaving the real one behind. The magician watched as the other disappeared, the needles on his skin centering mostly on his lips now. It took him all of his remaining rationality to remember that this was his chance to escape. 

But he was mad. Even when he had jumped out of the window and made his way towards his destination, something in him pulled him on the inside, telling him of how much he missed that kiss. 

* * * * *

_How was it? Did you have him?_

No. It was practically useless. 

_. . ._

What, no taunting? Aren't you going to ask me how badly I screwed up?

_No. You're angry right now. Tell me about it when we're looking at each other face to face. _

What makes you think I want to see you?

_You will listen to me. You're looking for someone to explain the answers._

And you think that that person is you?

_One can never be too sure. But Hisoka, I'm the only one you have._

And **I **am the only one **you** have.

_. . ._

I don't want anything to do with you anymore. 

Any last words?

_. . ._

_I'm begging you._

* * * * *

He mentioned that he hated his tendency to obsess. Need he say it again now? Hisoka felt like shit and the weather's doing nothing to comfort his mood. The sky overhead was grayed black, constant thunders rumbling through the emptying streets as people around him ran for shelter. 

He was starting to feel cold, tufts of hair plastered on his pale face. The rain ruined his hair's supposedly spiked appearance, but he didn't care about it right now. Right now, he was looking up at a building that towered in front of him, staring at one of the windows. He fancied he could see through the white curtain, and inside he could see the prone form of a familiar man lying on one of the beds, staring out at the falling sky, waiting for him. 

He really didn't know why he was there. He had long convinced himself that he hated that certain man and would use all that he had just to get away from him in hopes to forget that he even existed. But the human body is a treacherous thing, and before he knew it, he found his way back to him, ready to fall all over again if necessary. 

All his life he felt down and he needed comfort. He found that comfort only once.

* * * * *

I'm back.

_I knew you would be._

*** The End ***

**A/N: **Congratulations for reading the fanfic this far! This'll be my last chance: Please review! ^.^

**Important Note:   
**Yikes, I forgot to attach this note the first time I uploaded this chapter. Would anybody believe I dreamt of it last night?? Hisoka came to me as a reviewer and socked me on the head because he said that the fanfic wasn't completely concluded yet and he sounded like...er, "a fucking victim who came back to his master in the end" o.O That scared the living daylights out of me so here I am, 7 in the morning with only 5 hours of sleep but out of bed nonetheless ^^; Hisoka's creepy, and I think I'm losing my mind because of him. 

Er, okay, so I've closed Hisoka. This fanfic has always been in Hisoka's point of view, and that's why chapter 5 ended this way. But there is more to be closed because Illumi still hasn't explained himself. There is still a closing chapter if anybody's interested. Kind of an Epilogue where he actually does tell Hisoka what the hell is up with him. I have it written down on some notebook, but I really liked the ending already . Please give me your feedback about it lest Hisoka comes to my dreams again and start messing my brain around.

That's it. I've done my job here and I'm going back to bed... *grabs her Illumi plushy, stalks off and grumbles about crazy clowns*


End file.
